[REVIEW] THECHEESEBURGERPICNIC & Thotcrime – whoever wins…we lose

This Pride month, as with every Pride month since approximately 2010 (maybe sooner?), there’s a whole bunch of milquetoast corporations putting out tacky Pride flag T-shirts, misguided Burger King ads, bizarre Postmates menus…they’re even putting out a NOW! THAT’S WHAT I CALL PRIDE album this year. If you’re tired of getting awful, fascist-subsidized slop this June, let me point you in the direction of the new split from Thotcrime and THECHEESEBURGERPICNIC, whoever wins…we lose. Give this turbulent rampage of a project a listen and inject some real, authentic, visceral queer shit into your brain.

The first six tracks of the split are from Thotcrime, a cybergrind Myspace-core group who recently put out a split with Headgore and the full-length ønyøurcømputer. Their half is glitchy pandemonium, taking cues from grind, sasscore, screamo, chiptune, and more. With lightning-fast drumming and insane guitar riffs backing each track, it’s a wild ride. The anger is palpable, with singer Hayley Sparxx snarling, “vile, disgusting, filthy, putrid – GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME!” But at the same time, there’s definitely a lightheartedness here, too – I mean, it’s hard not to chuckle a little bit at the song titles (i.e., “A.G.P.R.E.M.I.X.” or “doing whippits out of a can of monster energy killer bee 2007”), or at some of the lyrical content (“You can’t write a story to save your life!” re: J.K. Rowling).

Next up is THECHEESEBURGERPICNIC’s portion. For the uninitiated, THECHEESEBURGERPICNIC is Maya Chun, who you may know from projects such as Youth Novel, Bonglord, AUTOEROTICCANIBALISM, Serpent Column, and more. This side of the split cranks up the distortion, dipping more into noise and even a bit of doom. The vocals here are harsher than on Thotcrime’s half, with much of the lyrics borderline unintelligible. That’s not a diss, though – one of my favorite aspects of grindcore is the way that visceral emotion comes through whether you know what’s actually being spoken or not. And on tracks like “i cannot even begin to fucking believe this” or “oh no i insist keep going youre totally good,” the rage and frustration are palpable.

So, instead of listening to some shitty Pride Spotify playlist with Katy Perry and twenty remixes of “Born This Way,” throw on an album that starts with the lyrics, “I’LL PISS ON YOUR GRAVE, JOANNE!” – an album with a rip-roaring diss track dedicated to TERF menace J.K. Rowling. Listen to THECHEESEBURGERPICNIC blast you with a sonic wall of distortion, rage, and chaos. Take that Queer Pride and channel it into some Queer Wrath, and listen to some unabashedly queer sasscore grindcore noisy sonic assaults.

THECHEESEBURGERPICNIC & Thotcrime’s whoever wins…we lose is out today (June 10th, 2022). Support it on bandcamp here.

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